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Understand Others

Why Do We Blame Victims?

There have been incidences in my life where I have been the victim of harassment, bullying, and atrocious behavior, and in some these cases, I received a backlash from people who ultimately treated me like I was the perpetrator – like it was my fault. To my shock and disappointment, this ‘second wound’ also came from some that I deemed close to me.

It happens every day- from small interactions to extreme cases like rape victims. It just happened to me today… this incidence stemmed from my standing up against a Montessori school who would not stop the bullying against my daughter, and then I received their wrath after calling Social Services. My girls were out of the school so they were safe, but I chose to continue my campaign against them to raise awareness of what transpired – all in an effort to protect the other children from the cruelty of the boys and the school’s lack of action. I did it for the safety and wellbeing of the children who were still there… but surprisingly I also received blame from some of the parents as well.

What?!

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It’s about Good vs Bad, not Black vs White

When it comes to discrimination and intolerance, mankind has been focused on the wrong aspect of this issue for far too long.  I understand, discrimination is a complex issue. There is a history before us which we assimilate into our ideology, and then pass along to our children.  We learn from our family’s, as well as our culture’s, fear and anger, and we take it on as our own.  We were not born with it, we were taught to this think this way… yet, let me ask – do we ever stop to think if we actually agree with this line of thinking?  Because we were taught, it also means we can unlearn it and educate ourselves about other belief systems which more closely resemble who we are.  If we do not make this effort, the suffering will only continue to be perpetrated.

We need to break the cycle, and we need to do it together.

For the sake of your children, the world’s people, generations to come, and yourself, stop and figure out what causes you to feel this fear and anger, and instead of reacting to those emotions, analyze them with a problem-solving cap on.  For one, let’s not judge a person until we know them enough to make an accurate assessment about their true character, which means that first impressions are obsolete.  Let me share another, broader thought to get you started…

It is not about black versus white, it’s not even about which gender is marrying which, or about who is Jewish and who is Muslim, and it’s definitely not about which immigrants are moving into our country.

I am here to tell you – it is about none of that.

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Hope, not Heil

Maybe you guys can explain something to me. If someone, let’s say this lady…

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… goes to a rally as a quiet bystander in a show of peace.  Pretty soon, her presence alone ends up causing a crowd full of Trump loyalists to see her actions as ‘spreading hate’ and they react with venom.  Let’s break this down… a lovely lady in her culture’s garb, the only words spoken are words of peace on her tee-shirt, but yet it provokes such intense loathing that she ends up getting kicked out of the building in amongst vilely spewed harassment.  What am I missing here?  Can we all not agree this is extreme behavior?

Which leads me to- I need to have a word with you, Trump.  You have a great responsibility in your current role.  You have a tremendous opportunity to be a positive catalyst for change and a laudable role model for all those who look up to you.  But you have decided to pursue a different path and become the pied piper of lost souls looking for another way.

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