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March 2016

Focus on Yourself First, not Others

I have long thought if we focused less on others and more on ourselves that we would all be a lot happier. And by focused on ourselves, I mean on our own negative perceptions, criticisms, and ingrained discriminations, as well as finding more ways to express our love, compassion, and generosity. If we cannot delve deep within ourselves and face the truth, we will never truly love ourselves – and most definitely not others… for we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

I have been thinking about how we judge others by what we fear in ourselves. If we see another race, we are afraid of being different like them. If an overweight person walks by, we cringe at the thought that we are too large ourselves. And when we judge a working mother for not being with her kids, we outwardly lash out on tarnishing the traditional role of a woman, but inwardly we are either scared of going into the workplace ourselves or we are jealous of her achievements.

We condemn others for what we feel ourselves… is this fair to them, or to you?  We put far too much attention on what others think and not enough contemplation on ourselves.  Setting pride, fear, insecurity, and ego aside, I believe if you focus on the root of what truly feels good to you, then you will always make the right decision.  If you dig deep enough, the answers are there – one must be quiet enough to hear them.

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Overcoming Negativity

I like to remind myself of something self-help guru Brian Tracy once said, “your mind is like a garden. If you do not deliberately plant flowers and tend carefully, weeds will grow without any encouragement at all.” Weeds grow on their own whether they get sunshine or rain, but flowers need cultivating and nourishment to grow into its most beautiful self. Such it is with us… negativity does not need any effort from us in order to consume our thoughts – it will run rampant in the absence of positivity.

It is a good thing to keep in mind. We have control over our thoughts, and we can choose how we view the world. I always found that to be a fascinating concept. That everyone can experience the same situation, but our individual emotions and reactions to it can change depending on our state of mind.  Ultimately it is OUR CHOICE how we experience the world so let’s take more responsibility for something that only WE control – our minds. No one can take that from us. If they did (through abuse, lying, etc), then it is our job to take the necessary steps to regain control over our thoughts and work through it until we can once again pamper our mind into a state of peace.

There is a basic consensus on how to start this journey.  I will share a few of them with you…

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